The Girl’s Home
We were 3 minutes away from the girls home. The woman said it had been empty for years now. We rejoined our friends in the car and drove straight there. Someone happened to be inside and I walked the halls again, 14 years later, thanking God for transforming my heart in that place and teaching me the power of forgiveness. The home was where I made my first quilt. It was where the Lord started stitching my heart back together and showing me His love as a Heavenly Father.
Lay It All Down AGAIN.
Traveling the country on a word from the Lord with no guaranteed income is vulnerable. Trusting that I hear His voice and taking steps accordingly when it doesn’t look logical to the world is vulnerable. Living in the homes of people I barely know is vulnerable. Stepping into unpleasant circumstances because God wants to address heart issues is vulnerable. Staying on my face before the Lord in the midst of the unknown is vulnerable. Physically battling travelers fatigue is vulnerable. And processing my feelings on paper for others to read in the midst of it feels the most vulnerable of all.
2021
Something powerful happens when we take time to share our personal experiences of how we have encountered God. The enemy HATES when we testify of what God has done in our lives. ‘Testimony’ in Hebrew literally translates to 'do it again with the same power and authority'. It’s an act of worship to testify of the goodness of God in our lives and share the ways that we’ve seen Him move!
“Holidays Are Hard.”
It was hard to talk about, especially during the holiday season. I didn’t feel like I had much to celebrate or contribute. I’d find myself at holiday gatherings crying in the bathroom, grieving over the devastation of my life. It was usually triggered by something simple like watching other couples smile and laugh, enjoying their meal together, or watching one of their kids climb up into a parents lap. I didn’t want to ruin other people’s joyous time by talking to anyone about my pain. Instead, I’d quietly excuse myself to the restroom and fall apart.
Revive Me.
All of the sudden a timeline flashed before my eyes and I saw the assignment of the enemy against her. I wasn’t the only person in her life she harbored suspicious thoughts towards. I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me, “Suspicion has robbed my daughter from Kingdom connections and a sisterhood I’ve longed for her to have.” My heart moved from a place of offense to a place of compassion for her. I could feel the grievance of the Lord over the sabotaging work of the enemy in her life. The enemy had been lying to her about people’s motives in ministry for along time, deceiving her into believing it was discernment. Instead of seeing those around her through the lens of Christ, she was seeing people, especially women, through the lens of religious suspicion. I wouldn’t understand why the Lord was showing me this until later the next day. I just prayed.
Depressed at the DQ.
He was clearly taken off guard by me walking up to his table, much less sitting down at it. It wasn’t his approachability that caught my attention, in fact it was quite the opposite. He looked miserable. His hair was overgrown and unkept. His t-shirt had seen better days and his jeans needed a wash. Maybe he was a farmer. The well-aged lines on his face indicated that he spent more time frowning than not. He looked depressed, grumpy and jaded. The ice cream didn’t seem to be doing any good. Faith began to well up inside of me. I knew God was about to do something.
Porches & Promises.
It’s not that I never struggled with doubting God’s voice after that. Even as I went through the process of laying everything down in Colorado to come out to Kentucky, I had moments of asking myself, “Is this even God?” Hebrews 11:6 says that, “without faith, it is impossible to please God.” Sometimes the only way to really know if it is Him, is to take a leap of faith and find out.
“Becca, what’s your plan?”
The family was still at work. I wondered what they would think coming home to me and my backpack on their bench. What if Saturate didn’t do another gathering in Kentucky? Then what? I was anxious to meet this family and find out how long I was even welcome. I thanked God for being my comforter no matter how uncomfortable I was feeling. What did the future look like for me?
And so it begins.
When Jesus went to the cross the veil between heaven and earth was torn! Having faith in what Jesus did on the cross for us gives us full access to His Spirit here on earth. (Matthew 27:51) Have you asked God to speak to you today? Chances are, there won’t be an earthquake in your bedroom and a big booming voice telling you what to do with your life when you ask Him to speak to you. None the less, He will speak. Maybe it will be something as simple as seeing a rainbow and having a knowing in your heart that He is promising to take care of you. What is Holy Spirit speaking to you today?
Lay it all down.
As hard as it was watching my favorite antique pieces walk out the door, that moment made it all worth it. I went back into my half empty cottage and wept on the floor before the Lord. He is worthy of it all, and seeing people encounter the love and power of the living God is worth laying everything down for no matter how hard it may seem. It was humbling to know that just like how the rich young ruler missed out on walking with Jesus, I could have missed out on seeing the power of God in that moment, had I not been willing to lay it all down.
About Rebecca
At 17, Rebecca had a powerful encounter with the love of Jesus in a girls home, completely transforming her life. Her heart is to bring the love and light found in Christ to the world around her through her creative gifts as a fiber artist, writer and minister of the gospel. Becca has served in missions in various locations overseas with YWAM, as well as traveled throughout the U.S. sharing the gospel and being a light. Her heart burns bright to raise up the next generation and has dreams of creating products to disciple the nations. Originally from Colorado Springs, CO, Rebecca lives in sunny Southern California where she spends her free time creating.