“Becca, what’s your plan?”
And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” -Isaiah 6:8
When I felt the Lord calling me to leave the familiarity of my comfort zone in Colorado, (you can read that story here) I simply gave Him my yes and did it. I was so busy downgrading from a mountain cottage to a 70L hiking backpack that I honestly didn’t reflect a whole lot on how I felt about it. That month seemed surreal to me. It wasn’t until after the Saturate Global tent revival in Nicholasville, KY had officially ended that my new set of circumstances started to hit me. The only people left were those helping to pack up the stage and clean up the field. The family who had offered to host me on their ranch was headed to a vacation rental a few hours away for some exclusive family time. Knowing my situation, they let me borrow their tent and blessed me with some food before being on their way. I hadn’t felt like a vagabond until that moment. I stood with my hands on my hips staring down at my new life. A backpack practically the size of me, a tent, and a grocery bag of someone else’s leftover camping food. Emily’s voice sounded a million miles away.
“What’s your plan girl? I need to get going soon.”
She was sitting in her car, patiently waiting for me to decide what I was going to do next. I felt anxious not having a clear answer for her. Being a good friend, she didn’t want to leave me in the middle of the field by myself with my backpack, no car and no plan. I was fairly confident that I wasn’t supposed to drive back to Nashville with her, even though my logical mind was telling me that made the most sense. Maybe Emily could drop me off at a camp ground somewhere? But then what? I decided to walk up to the top of the hill and pray.
At this point, the Saturate team was in the process of deciding if they would hold another revival event in Kentucky or not. Those of us who were volunteering on the ministry team were eagerly awaiting their decision. With limited finances, was it wise to post up in a hotel until they decided? Was tent camping even safe for a young single woman in back woods Kentucky? The “safe” option was going back to Nashville with my friend, but was that God’s plan? I hadn’t come to Kentucky with my own agenda. I never set out to “travel”, I simply accepted the invitation of what I believed to be God, trusting that He was inviting me to be a part of something He was up to. I wanted to continue to be apart of seeing people saved, healed and delivered. At the end of the day, I just wanted to know Him more. I had surrendered my own plans and trusted in His. But what were they? Was I crazy? As I weighed my options, my reality became increasingly more real. As I sat on that rusty overgrown tractor at the top of the hill for a few minutes in prayer, I found comfort in watching the birds find their way. How much more would He care for me? (Matthew 6:26-28)I was reminded that all throughout the New Testament of the Bible, when Jesus' disciples were sent out to heal the sick, cast out demons and proclaim the Kingdom of heaven was near, Jesus instructed them to “find a person of peace” and stay in stranger’s homes. (Mark 6, Luke 10, Matthew 10) The disciples had access to the local “inns”, the same way I had access to the Comfort Inn - that just wasn’t Jesus’ plan when it came to housing. Faith began to build in my heart that maybe God had a home for me to stay in too. I started thanking Him for opening doors and providing for my needs even though I didn’t know His plan just yet.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”
-Luke 11:9-10
After awhile, I made it back down the hill and began talking to a family packing up their tent. I shared how God invited me to quit my job, give away all my things and come follow Him to Kentucky. The woman kept her attention on her tent and promised to keep me in her prayers. I started to miss my warm bed and endless supply of loose leaf tea. We had been camping in the mud for 3 nights and I desperately needed a shower. I whispered a quick thank you and tried not to let my emotions get the best of me. The next person directed me to a man across the field. The woman reassured me as we walked that if anyone knew of a place for me, it would be this guy. She introduced me to a man sitting on the ground playing a djembe. I repeated my story again. He stopped playing the drum and said he might know someone but wasn’t making any promises. It honestly didn’t sound promising at all. I felt so uncomfortable asking for help from complete strangers, but all at the same time, I had a sense of peace in my heart that I was going to be okay. They encouraged me to connect with the other people on the field.
As I walked back to Emily's car, I couldn’t help but feel weighed down with discouragement. Of course I’d already talked to the other people on the field. Why didn’t I just go back to Nashville with Emily? What was I even doing out here? Something told me to be patient.
Just then the first woman packing up the tent walked over and handed me more than $300. I was shocked. I was sure this woman had judged me just as quickly as she had dismissed me by telling me she’d keep me in her prayers. I hadn’t asked for any money or said anything about my finances at all. She placed the money in my hands, praised God and thanked Him for sending the laborers into the harvest field of her state, to tell people about Jesus. I was in mid-hug when the man from the other side of the field drove over to where we were parked.
“Hey, I found you a place!”
At this point, Emily’s jaw dropped just about as far as mine did. We made eye contact and smirked at each other as if to acknowledge that we both knew I was about to embark on a wild adventure. I said my goodbyes while the man loaded my backpack into his trunk.
“You know, I see a lot of myself in you.”
He told me story after story about his time living out of a backpack following Jesus and witnessing the power of God show up in people’s lives. His testimonies brought me back to some of my own memories. This wasn’t the first time God had sent me out on a faith journey like this. Shortly after I turned 21, I went to Orange county on a one-way plane ticket that someone bought for me because they felt God leading them to. I quit my job that day and followed Holy Spirit up and down the west coast for about a year and a half. His stories stirred me up to give Jesus my yes no matter the cost. What was God up to in my life? I realized that it had been 8 years since I had gone on a faith journey like this with the Lord. So much had changed in my life since then. I earned a degree while working three jobs to graduate student loan free. I got married and divorced. I started counseling and therapy for various traumas in my life. I worked different jobs. Life happened. Had my strong value for structure and routine in recent years made me more complacent in my walk with God than I used to be? Any sense of stability outside of leaning on Jesus was long gone now.
We drove past corn field after corn field listening to worship music until we arrived at a little red farm house quaintly tucked behind more fields of corn. He prayed a blessing over me and left me there on his friends porch. I opened my journal and began to write down the lyrics to a Josh Turner song that was stuck in my head all day:
“Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire? Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher? If we roll from town to town and never shut it down Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover? Would we walk even closer until the trip was over?"
The family was still at work. I wondered what they would think coming home to me and my backpack on their bench. What if Saturate didn’t do another gathering in Kentucky? Then what? I was anxious to meet this family and find out how long I was even welcome. I thanked God for being my comforter no matter how uncomfortable I was feeling. What did the future look like for me?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
To find out what happens next, click here.
